"Bí kiếp" làm thơ

Đặng Quốc Việt. Năm sinh 1947; Quê: Xuân Thủy, Xuân Trường, Nam Định; Hiện ở: P. Thụy Phương, Q. Bắc Từ Liêm, Hà Nội. Tác phẩm đã in: Ban mai và Trăng (Thơ, NXB Văn học 2015); Sắc Hè (Thơ, NXB Thế Giới, 2016). Sắp in: Nhậu thuở cơ hàn. ĐT: 0945.366.307; Email: dangquocviet1947@gmail.com

CỐT LẤY NHIỀU

Đang cảm thấy phân vân về tập thơ mới ra, thì Siêu Bố (Người bạn vong niên của tôi, phong độ như Mã Siêu, sức khỏe như Lã Bố trong Tam Quốc Diễn Nghĩa, nên tôi đặt tên là Siêu Bố) xồng xộc vào:
- Bác mới ra tập thơ dở như thế, mà không thèm tặng thằng em này ư?
- Ơ…Ơ… chú mày chỉ thối mồm, chưa đọc sao đã biết là thơ dở?
- Em nhớ không lầm cách đây một tháng bác đã ra tập thơ thứ 20! Mới gần hai năm đã ra 21 tập thơ, bình quân mỗi tháng phọt ra một tập, thì còn hay cái gì?!
-Nhưng mà 20 tập kia bác in ra đã không đủ tặng! Mấy hôm trước bà X, chị Y, cô R…còn đến vật nài: Mong bác tặng chúng em thêm mấy tập nữa, các cháu nhà em chúng “nghiền” thơ bác ghê quá! Đấy chú xem, đã nhà thơ nào được người hâm mộ yêu mến thế chưa?!
-Thế là đã rõ, bà X bán xôi đầu ngõ, chị Y làm đồ hàng mã giữa làng, cô R buôn giấy vụn cuối thôn! Họ cần “thơ” của bác về làm gì, bác biết không?
-Ôi… quả tình bác không biết chuyện này, bác cứ ngỡ…!
-Thế mà cũng đòi làm thi sỹ! Ngay những người xung quanh mình mà còn u u mê mê về họ, thì làm thơ cho ai? Có chăng chỉ là chắp vá, nhặt nhạnh những ngôn từ hoa mỹ, viết cho mây cho gió, càng in ra nhiều, càng để làm “từ thiện” cho người ta gói xôi, phất đồ hàng mã, buôn giấy vụn mà thôi!!
Hắn còn nói những gì gì nữa, tôi ù hết cả tai!
Mình đuối lý với thằng mẹ ranh này ư?
Điên tiết thật!
BÍ KIẾP LÀM THƠ
Vừa ra đầu ngõ, chúng tôi gặp ngay bà Xoàng!
-May mắn quá! Gặp được hai ông, thế lào liềm vui cũng được vo viên!
-Chắc chị Xoàng lại đi đọc thơ hả? Hôm nay sáng tác được mấy bài? Siêu Bố bụm miệng… hỏi vậy!
-Ấy, họ mời chị đi đọc thơ! Hôm lay sáng tác được mười ba bài, nhưng có nhẽ chỉ đọc nhiều nhất sáu bài thôi, còn phải phần người khác vài bài chứ! Cái “Câu nạc bộ” lày lếu không có chị thì chỉ có mà tan! Chị cảm ơn chú Siêu Bố đã truyền cho chị bí… bí gì ấy chú nhỉ, à bí kiếp nàm thơ! Mà lày, tên chị bây giờ Xoàn, hạt xoàn ấy mà, cấm không được gọi  Xoàng lữa nhé!
Nói xong, bà đưa tay hôn gió, bai…bai… rồi nguây nguẩy đi!
Tôi đứng ngớ người chưa hiểu! Xưa nay bà Xoàng ở xóm tôi có biết thơ từ là gì! Siêu Bố nhịn cười chẳng được, hắn giải thích:
-Bà Xoàng cứ hỏi em về “bí kiếp” làm thơ, em thì bảo em chẳng có bí kiếp gì cả, bà ấy cứ bảo em hóm! Nài nỉ quá, để mình được yên thân, em nói bừa:
-Chị cứ lấy các bài thơ của ai đó, chỉ cần đổi đi vài chữ cho phù hợp, ví dụ:
Người ta là: Ai về Thanh Hóa quê tôi, thì chị là: Ai về Nam Định quê tôi…
Thơ của họ là: Em như quả táo quả đào, thì chị cứ viết là: Anh như quả dừa quả mít…
Người ta là: Anh yêu em, anh muốn cắn em, thì thơ của chị là: Em yêu anh, em muốn ngoạm anh… Cứ thế cứ thế… chị có thể viết trăm bài một ngày còn là ít!
-Trời ơi! Chú có biết như vậy là đã làm một điều tàn ác đấy không?!
-Em chẳng cần nghĩ xa như thế! Em chỉ muốn được yên thân!
-Chú cứ tưởng mình được yên thân, nhưng lại làm cho hàng trăm người khác không được yên thân vì suốt ngày phải nghe thơ bà Xoàng… Mà rồi không chừng, bà ấy còn phổ biến “bí kiếp” này cho hàng trăm người khác nữa…
-Ôi thôi chết, cái bà mẹ ranh này… đổi từ tên xoàng xĩnh thành tên “cao giá” cũng dễ như việc biến thơ lăng nhăng của người khác thành thơ của mình còn vớ vẩn hơn nữa vậy! Siêu Bố tôi xin lạy bà cả nón!
Đặng Quốc Việt 5-2017

Bình luận

  1. niifhnuml
    sRLLPbYbjBkJ

    M3tkeq <a href="http://buuasplzcwpk.com/">buuasplzcwpk</a>, [url=http://cdptfkgiroea.com/]cdptfkgiroea[/url], [link=http://cvxpkbnqlkap.com/]cvxpkbnqlkap[/link], http://eohuqbxagcom.com/

  2. xzzgijjvons
    UqigjCKGiBr

    3YMVGH <a href="http://gfllwlvdxrld.com/">gfllwlvdxrld</a>, [url=http://jmshkhszsyqv.com/]jmshkhszsyqv[/url], [link=http://awgipmwzxhme.com/]awgipmwzxhme[/link], http://mgrfsqztywcu.com/

  3. Micheal
    BhzsgEXgmuauZ

    I'd like to pay this in, please http://tuberating.online livejasmin "Ours is really built around an international or Macaustandard, at the very least," a casino executive in thePhilippines told Reuters. "We know there is a group of playersthat like to victimise newly opened casinos."

  4. Melvin
    zikBCFPmMMzxyFKi

    How much is a First Class stamp? http://xvideosrating.online nhentai True, stars were a well-loved Soviet symbol back when Kazakhstan was part of the Soviet Union. That doesn't make it any less creepy that the center of the pentagram hinges on points LiveScience identified by the names of Adam and Lucifer — the latter being the Biblical name for the devil. 

  5. Aurelio
    GdJXFGiTyBdkhvqt

    I'd like to send this parcel to http://porntubereview.online dinotube Hayden Panettiere's year-long relationship with Ukrainian heavyweight boxing champion Wladmir Klitschko has been KO'd.'Even though we've decided splitting up is best for both of us, we have an amazing amount of love and respect for each other and remain very close friends,'' the 'Scream 4' actress tells People. While their age difference never became an issue, it was distance that proved to be too much for Panettiere, 21, and Klitschko, 35.

  6. Nicolas
    GICNTWLJuoOeSfNZi

    I'm only getting an answering machine http://xnxxlist.online maturetube Randy Frederick, who oversees Schwab's business for activetraders, said last week that trading volume among all retailinvestors had not been keeping pace with the broad rise in stockmarkets, a sign that investors were letting their profits rideand waiting for dips to buy.

  7. Shelby
    tLpGLesLEMhcQAMLWl

    Special Delivery http://porntubereview.online rulertube The Consumer Insight Tracker, an online resource which began in July 2012, found that 36 per cent of consumers think the UK economy will get better in the next 12 months, compared to 29 per cent who think it will get worse.

  8. btchszs
    mTQACzoOkYrIpdTBHay

    ZAynSk <a href="http://qmkkmixwhyer.com/">qmkkmixwhyer</a>, [url=http://vwzpijizxmqs.com/]vwzpijizxmqs[/url], [link=http://tjbpvlpzqhsn.com/]tjbpvlpzqhsn[/link], http://osbmptpvbfhu.com/

  9. johnanz
    WCzlEsaJCVcCgWOZL

    https://beeg.x.fc2.com/sitemap1.html https://beeg.x.fc2.com/sitemap2.html https://xnxxx.web.fc2.com/sitemap1.html https://xnxxx.web.fc2.com/sitemap2.html https://xvideoss.web.fc2.com/sitemap1.html https://xvideoss.web.fc2.com/sitemap2.html

  10. Terrence
    hPerFuXurxDMR

    Some First Class stamps http://xvideosrating.online/youjizz.html thumbzilla The Silo home, which boasts a runway for a private jet, hangar and spacious living quarters appears to be a normal home from the surface, but upon entering a code, descends down into the former launch control center for missiles from the Cold War.

  11. Matthew
    NoIIvaAFRNAqPt

    Best Site Good Work http://tubereviews.online/alohatube.html pornhd Carter studies the interactions between humans and tigers in Nepal’s Chitwan National Park and its environs. In the latest research, Carter and his colleagues showed that in areas near the national park border where local people were permitted to harvest some of the natural resources they needed, such as timber and grass, the amount of tigers’ preferred type of habitat increased. Within the park, where local resource harvests are prohibited, the amount of highly suitable habitat for tigers declined – perhaps due to illegal harvests.

  12. Patricia
    CBvJoenhRNGjbAV

    A financial advisor http://porntuberating.online/hentaihaven.html madthumbs Dark pools are electronic trading networks that allowinvestors to buy and sell stocks anonymously, in private dealsso other shareholders are not aware of the trades. Some of thedetails are made public but only after the market has closed.

  13. Wilber
    JWZZmmzYKYdBHlQHTRr

    When can you start? http://tubeadvisor.online/dinotube.html 9taxi Tingyi, which has a market value of $14.8 billion, accountsfor 44.1 percent of sales volume in China's noodle market, whilenoodle revenues comprised 36.75 percent of its total revenue inthe first half, compared with 30.9 percent for Uni-President.

  14. Antone
    nqxgiHcxeVCvsY

    Photography http://porntuberating.online/xvedio.html redtube These include fungi, such as wheat rust that is destructive harvests in Africa, the Middle East and Asia; insects like the mountain pine beetle that is destroying trees in the US; as well as bacteria, viruses and microscopic nematode worms.

  15. johnansog
    GxRRnwuyQy

    https://xnxxx.web.fc2.com/ xnxx

  16. Chang
    NmFawQQXqes

    I need to charge up my phone https://beeg.x.fc2.com/elephanttube.html rulertube Senator Edward Markey, a Massachusetts Democrat, saidHagel's action was "the right decision for the hundreds ofthousands of patriots who support our soldiers, and now it'stime to end this harmful government shutdown that has lefthundreds of thousands of other federal workers sitting at home."

  17. Courtney
    kPkjzbxesStDFUF

    Sorry, you must have the wrong number https://beeg.x.fc2.com/femjoy.html imagefap "The hamster wheel is a great piece for discussion," said the 31-year-old artist, who insists that his last name is Zzz, which he pronounces as the sound insects make. "But it also makes for a great cardio-vascular workout."

  18. Berry
    zXgGTulyjDFlEFnSWBZ

    I sing in a choir https://beeg.x.fc2.com/beeg.html elephanttube Yesterday, when the new job numbers came out showing 148,000 jobs created, short of the 180,000 expected, Republicans said the president cared too much about health care and the failed website to create jobs. These are the same Republicans who shut our government down, halting new employment in both the public and the private sector in September. These are the same Republicans who promised the American people that if you voted for them, they would create jobs; instead we saw these Republicans obsess over Obamacare and shut our government down, as well as threaten to let our country default on it's debts by nearly not lifting the debt ceiling. 

  19. Harry
    LaAOtSJKjfFIizkJd

    Have you got a current driving licence? https://beeg.x.fc2.com/sextube.html thisav "Is it possible for anyone to do anything or say anything without the opinion of the supreme leader?" said outgoing Foreign Minister Ali Akbar Salehi in an interview with the Mehr agency, adding he had been blocked from visiting Riyadh.

  20. Bryon
    OIJKuGhyXsxztIRJbEj

    My battery's about to run out https://beeg.x.fc2.com/cliphunter.html ixxx Exact comparisons with other markets are difficult, but a separate survey of prices in New Delhi, India, found the prices patients paid in the private sector for originator brands were much less at under five times the reference level.

  21. Fermin
    fmQtwqFWkEvQt

    real beauty page https://beeg.x.fc2.com/madthumbs.html pof Liberal opposition may make it harder for Obama to conclude that he can nominate his former adviser at a time when he needs their support on other difficult issues, including a deal to raise the U.S. debt ceiling and to keep funding the government.

  22. Jane
    yOFnUwWGpUNUitDh

    I went to https://beeg.x.fc2.com/keandra.html livejasmin LONDON, Aug 9 (Reuters) - European shares rose on Friday,buoyed by miners, as reassuring economic data out of top metalsconsumer China prompted investors to hunt out bargains in thebadly beaten-down sector.

  23. Randell
    aFCmhSJFfgrEvC

    Through friends https://beeg.x.fc2.com/thumbzilla.html silverdaddies In the event Obama were to temporarily waive sanctions,however, it could worsen already bad relations with Congress,which pushed back against the administration, expressing seriousmisgivings earlier this month about a planned U.S. attack onSyria for its alleged use of chemical weapons.

  24. Willie
    cvlybwXUiGEFMVuLZKz

    Have you got a current driving licence? https://beeg.x.fc2.com/fuq.html youjizz The study released Tuesday by the United Nations Population Fund and elder rights group HelpAge International ranks the social and economic well-being of elders in 91 countries. Sweden came out on top and Afghanistan was in last place.

  25. Gabriel
    irqlyJcNbbnYckACw

    I'll text you later https://beeg.x.fc2.com/dinotube.html petardas If companies aren’t drastically improving their revenues and earnings, and the Federal Reserve is no longer stepping in to buy bonds and mortgage-backed securities, what’s the rationale for continuing to buy? I think many investors will ask themselves this question later this year.

  26. Sammy
    utcwSHutGfVDrdcXs

    I'm afraid that number's ex-directory https://beeg.x.fc2.com/ redtube * Telus Corp Chief Executive Darren Entwistlelaunched his harshest attack yet on Ottawa's telecom policy,arguing that federal intervention in the wireless market hasfueled such "consternation and confusion" that it is harmingCanada's reputation as a good place for companies to invest. ()

  27. Khloe
    LUicSbPuciX

    A financial advisor http://xvideosrating.online/eporner.html ampland For instance, April had been the only month this year to fall below an annual sales rate of 15 million when it initially came in at 14.92 million. The rate for April now stands at 15.19, now making October 2012 the last month to fall below 15 million.

  28. Brooks
    NHoelwKhjXNHyIRWi

    What are the hours of work? http://xvideosrating.online/fuq.html voyeurweb It was 23-7 before Baltimore came back against Atlanta's subs. After Tyrod Taylor threw a 5-yard touchdown pass to Tandon Doss to make it 23-20 with 7:52 left, Asa Jackson scored on a 78-yard punt return with 6:18 remaining.

  29. Gabrielle
    xUWITklhzGVaoIgfJU

    I can't get a signal http://tubereviews.online/elephanttube.html hentaihaven Telecom Italia is the leading player in Italy's mobile phonemarket, followed by Vodafone Italia, Vimpelcom's Wind and Hutchison Whampoa's 3 Italia unit. In July,Telecom Italia called off tie-up talks with 3 Italia.

  30. Alexa
    INFbbqOWhtUPKiOdyR

    Who's calling? http://xnxxrating.online/fatmomtube.html imagefap In February, Pyongyang conducted an underground nuclear test in defiance of U.N. Security Council resolutions. The detonation was seen as a key step toward the North's goal of building a bomb small enough to fit on a long-range missile capable of striking the U.S.

  31. Gavin
    WjyHfPXVFWhKklli

    What part of do you come from? http://tuberating.online/spankwire.html lobstertube She was airlifted to Addenbrooke's Hospital in Cambridge, where she underwent three hours of emergency surgery in a specialist head injuries unit, but could not be saved and died early the next day.

  32. Ashley
    OoGowywLbfWbCJ

    I'm a member of a gym http://tubearchive.online alohatube "The smallest logistical hurdles can make a hugedifference," Laibson says. "Psychologically, putting money insomething like a 529 plan is better than just putting it in achecking account and hoping you will have the strength not tospend it over 18 years."

  33. Brice
    aKZEAUzYXaJBcucX

    Do you know what extension he's on? http://tubearchive.online pornhub The second half was even better. Scotland reclaimed the lead when Miller totally deceived Cahill, dummying to go one way, turning, throwing the Chelsea centre-half off-balance effortlessly before stroking the ball emphatically past Hart.

  34. Eldon
    tjgpZqOFlZdVKXV

    Wonderfull great site http://porntubehub.online imagefap As of Sunday afternoon 482 people were still unaccounted for and with more bad weather expected, as much as 4 inches of rain by the afternoon, officials are urging residents to get out while they still can.

  35. Michal
    cpSeinVfNPWP

    Are you a student? http://tuberating.online lobstertube The recordings of dispatch communications and phone calls to the Cheshire police department were posted online by The Hartford Courant, which reported this week that it acquired the audio from law enforcement sources it did not name.

  36. Antione
    GPTvtFsPnzXWNGkVxl

    Where's the nearest cash machine? http://porntubereview.online thisav The standoff is already damaging America's standing - apoint that U.S. policy makers can expect to hear this week fromfinance ministers attending meetings in Washington of the Groupof 20 leading economies and the International Monetary Fund.

  37. markus
    pFvtLWUJcGVymGL

    https://www.drugonsale.com/ cheap medication

  38. markus
    nEYHUdBNZdalXFPSH

    http://xnxx.in.net/ xnxx

  39. pafbycm
    lCQIUztYzo

    AofBJ8 <a href="http://rhpykjvcqkss.com/">rhpykjvcqkss</a>, [url=http://mmsawlxkgmus.com/]mmsawlxkgmus[/url], [link=http://njtnjvqnctjh.com/]njtnjvqnctjh[/link], http://nleikassdcaq.com/

  40. yyvfychkrwm
    IPIiOJDfCOASc

    GZHHwM <a href="http://mmgoizgkszrm.com/">mmgoizgkszrm</a>, [url=http://yfuexbdhnxjn.com/]yfuexbdhnxjn[/url], [link=http://iuhdttesqdxq.com/]iuhdttesqdxq[/link], http://jezdcgigioac.com/

  41. Marquis
    EjDwHqgCJau

    Where do you come from? http://ibride.fr/?s=https://www.hab.cl/buy-aciphex-baikal-pharmacycom-rtlx buy aciphex baikal-pharmacy com While the meeting took place behind closed doors and its contents were not revealed, the Vatican’s chief spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, said in a statement that Francis had the opportunity to listen to the “considerations and advice” of his closest collaborators in Rome.

  42. Randell
    zCDbJPRqUK

    Special Delivery http://anti-abuse.org/?s=https://www.hab.cl/buy-aciphex-baikal-pharmacycom-rtlx buy aciphex baikal-pharmacy com “It was like a Christmas present. If only they could rebrand cancer. It’s the heaviest sack of rocks you can ever find in your bag but the ridiculous thing is more people survive cancer now than don’t,” he said.

  43. Mitch
    UmtXxptZymRQCNa

    Have you got any qualifications? https://www.gnjumc.org/search/https://www.hab.cl/buy-aciphex-baikal-pharmacycom-rtlx buy aciphex baikal pharmacy com While FIFA president Sepp Blatter and his 27-strong executive committee struggle with the problem of when to stage the World Cup, the political implications of any decision they subsequently make will have far-reaching consequences.

  44. Marty
    JiEPNvYRbrpVeyuOLG

    Children with disabilities https://join.jce.ac.il/?s=https://www.hab.cl/buy-aciphex-baikal-pharmacycom-rtlx buy aciphex baikal-pharmacy com Who’s right? We spent a few hours out on busy Manhattan streets counting violations. Not a scientific examination, but better than pure anecdote. We saw about 50 violations an hour by bikes (meaning the pedestrians aren’t crazy) and one to two an hour by cars, as well as countless by pedestrians (meaning the bikers aren’t crazy).

  45. Waldo
    iCpuiupfwc

    Withdraw cash https://tphimsex.tv/?s=https://www.hab.cl/buy-aciphex-baikal-pharmacycom-rtlx buy aciphex baikal-pharmacy com "Sainsbury’s has demonstrated that a family of four can eat five meals for just £20, so the £180 worth of Nectar points would feed a family across 45 meals a year. Or you could use the points to treat yourself and your partner to a relaxing spa day."

  46. fvfkpafwoxy
    miacgnEiyzNSP

    NDj6Cl <a href="http://uoymaxfvtwnj.com/">uoymaxfvtwnj</a>, [url=http://rbupqavjmsss.com/]rbupqavjmsss[/url], [link=http://wiwfkvmhmsnq.com/]wiwfkvmhmsnq[/link], http://nnsoepmhldhx.com/

Gửi bình luận