Đến với bài thơ hay: HEO MAY của Trần Ngọc Ước

Tôi nhớ một lần đọc tập thơ Dưới trăng của tác giả Trần Ngọc Ước, Hội viên Hội VHNT Quảng Ninh do Nhà Xuất bản Hội Nhà văn ấn hành năm 2008. Trong đó, tôi rất thích bài “Bán thơ” của anh. Lần ấy, tôi đã gặp Tác giả và đã có một cuộc trao đổi rất thú vị. Cuộc trao đổi ấy tôi đã ghi lại và được nhiều độc giả tán đồng. Tháng 11/2018, anh tặng tôi tập thơ “Khúc tự tình” cũng do Nhà Xuất bản Hội Nhà văn ấn hành. Đọc xong tập thơ có tính chiêm nghiệm thế sự sâu sắc, giàu cảm xúc của tác giả, trong đó tôi đặc biệt chú ý đến bài thơ ngắn “Heo may” vẻn vẹn chỉ bốn câu theo thể bát ngôn:

HEO MAY

Gió vẫn thổi, mây bay và hoa nở

Tiệc vui theo tiếng cốc chạm tưng bừng

Chợt se sắt trong tôi ào ạt nhớ

Heo may về lành lạnh phía sau lưng.

Vẫn tính tò mò, muốn được hiểu thêm "nỗi lòng" của bạn văn ẩn khuất sau bài thơ hay, tôi tìm gặp anh. Và sau đây là một cuộc mạn đàm:

Tôi: - Thưa Tác giả Trần Ngọc Ước! Tôi đã đọc một mạch tập thơ của anh trong niềm hứng khởi và lý thú. Trong tập thơ Khúc tự tình của anh có khá nhiều bài thơ, câu thơ đã thoát ra ngoài trang giấy, thấm vào lòng Bạn Đọc - trong đó có tôi. Một trong những bài thơ tôi rất thích là bài thơ bốn câu Heo may của anh!

Tác giả (TG): - Cảm ơn anh! Thực lòng tôi viết xong bốn câu thơ này, một thời gian sau đọc lại thấy mình như được Phật ban cho thì đúng hơn! (cười)

Tôi: - Tôi nghĩ trong lòng anh vốn đã có Phật rồi! Chỉ tiếc rằng trái tim anh dành cho thế thái nhân tình nên anh không xuống tóc đi tu mà thôi! (Cả hai cùng cười). Xin được cùng anh đàm đạo về thủ pháp và bố cục của bài thơ Heo may có được không?

TG: - Vâng, anh cứ đánh giá thật khách quan để tôi "được thưởng thức thơ của tôi"! (cười)

Tôi: - Trong bài thơ Heo may, anh đã dùng tới bốn giác quan để tạo nên một bài thơ hoàn hảo. Đó là nhìn, nghe, cảm và nhận.

TG: - Xin bái phục! Anh đã đoán đúng, mặc dù trong lúc xào nấu tôi đã dùng gia vị khác mà anh vẫn nhận ra thịt nào ra thịt nấy! (lại cười) Anh có thể nói cụ thể vào bài được không?

Tôi: - Này nhé! Câu thứ nhất, anh cho Bạn Đọc nhìn thấy gió, mây và hoa (Gió vẫn thổi, mây bay và hoa nở)

TG: - Đúng! Quy luật ngàn đời mà anh!

Tôi: - Câu thứ hai, anh dùng tai để nghe cốc chạm tưng bừng trong "Tiệc vui theo tiếng cốc chạm tưng bừng"

TG: - Thì đúng rồi! (cười) Chỉ khác ở đây là...

Tôi: - Có phải ở đây không có chữ "người" không?

TG: - Lại đúng rồi! Tôi rất chú ý cất đi chữ "người" trong hai từ "cốc chạm". Nếu đọc lướt thì chữ "người" vẫn hiển hiện, vì không có người thì làm gì có cốc chạm vào nhau. Nhưng nếu dừng lại để suy ngẫm thì ta có cảm giác người chạm cốc hững hờ, vô hồn, vô cảm với những thứ âm thanh khô khốc phát ra từ những cái cốc vô tri va vào nhau rộ lên từ tứ phía...

Tôi: - Ừ nhỉ! Nếu hoán đổi hai từ "cốc chạm" bằng "chạm cốc" thì thấy có động từ "chạm"...

TG: - Anh lại khiến tôi muốn mời rượu rồi! Có động từ nghĩa là có chủ thể của hành động. Tuy tôi không nói tới "người" nhưng trong câu thơ, có "người" mà không thấy "người" chạm cốc vẫn hiện lên rõ rệt! (cười)

Tôi: - Anh thâm thật đấy! Nếu có chữ "người", ắt có chữ "tình" hoặc nhiều chữ khác mang ý nghĩa nhân văn sẽ đi theo. Nhưng ở đây thì sao nhỉ?

TG: - Thôi anh ạ, không nên truy đến cùng câu chữ. Hãy để Bạn Đọc có thêm những suy luận khi tiếp cận bài thơ này! (cả hai cùng cười)

Tôi: - Được!... Sang câu thứ ba, đặc biệt tôi chú ý tới hai chữ ào ạt trong câu Chợt se sắt trong tôi ào ạt nhớ. Tôi có cảm giác khi anh viết đến câu này, trong lòng anh đang dậy sóng thì phải?

TG: - Đúng vậy anh ạ! Cứ nghĩ đến sự xuống cấp đạo đức của xã hội, sự vô cảm giữa người với người, sự hờ hững với mọi việc xung quanh của nhiều người thời nay, tôi lại se sắt nhớ về một thuở xa xưa khi chưa giầu có, cả xóm vác rá sang vay gạo mỗi khi ai đó kịp mua được phần gạo tem phiếu mang về nhà. Ngày ấy, trẻ con ra đường biết lễ phép chào người lớn; trong bữa, người ta biết san sẻ cho nhau từng củ khoai, muôi cháo... Câu ngạn ngữ "con không chê cha mẹ khó" bây giờ dường như đã lạc hậu mất rồi! Vì tiền, vì danh vọng, họ sẵn sàng bán rẻ cả lương tâm... Tôi viết câu này, trong lòng tôi... (nghẹn giọng)

Tôi (vội chen ngang): - Câu thơ mênh mang quá! Nếu nói thêm thì sẽ còn bao nhiêu nỗi nhớ nữa, anh nhỉ?

TG (gật đầu, cười như mếu): - Thôi...! Có lẽ lại để Bạn Đọc suy ra nhiều nỗi nhớ khác vậy!

Tôi: - Xin lỗi! Tôi thấy anh nặng tình khiến tôi cũng thấy cay sống mũi!

TG: - Và câu kết... Anh thấy đấy, người ta hay dùng lưỡi để phân biệt mọi cay, đắng, ngọt, bùi... Tôi thì dùng cảm quan để nhận biết và để diễn tả tâm trạng của mình. Người ta ai cũng già đi, thường thì lúc ấy mới thận trọng nhìn lại mình, mới nhận thức được rõ hơn về chân giá trị của cuộc sống.

Tôi: - Và anh đã dùng, hình ảnh ngọn gió heo may khô khốc, lạnh buốt để diễn tả tâm trạng ớn lạnh xống lưng trong câu thơ Heo may về lành lạnh phía sau lưng?

TG: - Vâng! Sự giả dối lên ngôi, sự bất an thường trực; sức yếu, tuổi già và tình người mai một; còn nhiều lắm những sự việc bất như ý, chưa nói đến sự tồn vong của cuộc sống và thiên nhiên...

Tôi: - Anh đang khiến tôi cũng "ớn lạnh phía sau lưng" giống như anh! (cười). Thế mới biết bốn câu thơ có ba mươi hai chữ mà hàm ý lớn!

TG: - Thôi ta dừng ở đây nhé, vì nếu mổ sẻ ra nữa thì...

Tôi: - Vâng tôi biết... Chúng ta chưa bàn đến nghệ thuật ví von, ẩn dụ, nhân cách hóa, ngoa dụ... Nếu tiếp tục, e sẽ làm phiền anh. Hơn nữa, tối rồi, tôi phải về. Hẹn anh một dịp gần đây nhất, ta lại hàn huyên!

Chúng tôi bắt tay nhau thật chặt.

Tác giả bài viết: Trần Trương

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