100 CÂU CÁCH NGÔN THỜI @

A. Về quan hệ gia đình



1. “Bé cậy cha”, già cậy người dưng.

2. Sinh con trông cậy tuổi già. Con chẳng phụng dưỡng (lại) gửi nhà tình thương.

3. “Công cha như núi Thái Sơn”. Thủ trưởng “nâng đỡ” còn hơn cha nhiều.

4. “Bố ăn chả, mẹ ăn nem”. Các con thèm đòi ăn cả nem lẫn chả!

5. Trăm vạn lời hay tâm sự. Chẳng bằng việc làm mình tự nêu gương.

6. Nhậu nhẹt bạn bè bạc trăm xem nhẹ. Giỗ cha giỗ mẹ suy tính từng đồng

7. Cha mẹ nói thì con cãi. Thủ trưởng bảo thì mãi mãi: dạ, vâng!

8. Bố mẹ già ít chăm lo. Khi chết thi thố mồ to mả dầy.

9. Đi làm từ thiện lễ bái khắp nơi. Ăn uống xả hơi quên ngày giỗ mẹ.

10. Xưa đẻ gái, bố thả gà. Nay nhờ con gái cả nhà giầu sang.

11. Thường thì chén chú, chén anh. Khi chia thừa kế tranh giành đánh nhau!

12. Giỗ bố không cúng tại gia. Mời đến khách sạn như là đám cheo.

13. Xưa Kiều bán mình chuộc cha. Nay con bán nhà, cha ở chung cư.

14. Dạy dỗ con mà không thành. Khác gì nuôi kẻ lưu manh trong nhà!

15. Với ruột thịt còn từ nhau. Với người ngoài khó trước sau chân tình.

16. Cha mẹ tham lam, con cháu thường làm theo đúng bề trên...

17. Cha chết chẳng khóc câu nào. Có ông Quan chết hắn gào rõ ghê.

18. Dân nghèo lo giỗ lo Tết. Quan tham lại mừng khi bố mẹ chết để nhận phong bì!

19. Con cái có đứa chê bố mẹ khó. Còn chó không biết chê chủ nghèo.

20. Cha mẹ chẳng thấy thăm nuôi. Vợ chồng tất tả ngược xuôi “tế bần”!

21. Mẹ thương con cháu, mẹ ra. Xin đừng biến mẹ như là ô-sin.

22. Cưới thừa cỗ, giỗ thiếu anh em, cũng phải nên xem lòng dạ?

23. Dạy con “giấy rách giữ lề”. Cha mẹ cờ bạc, lô đề... dạy ai?

24. “Nuôi con những ước về sau”. Làm quan để được lắm “màu” giàu to.

25. “Rộng bụng còn hơn rộng nhà”. Nỡ nào cư xử mẹ cha hẹp hòi!

26. Con cháu thường nói trống không. Hỏi ra mới biết: Thưa ông kiệm lời!

27. Mạch trong nước chảy ra trong. Cha mẹ “lòng thòng” con cái sao ngoan?

28. “Sóng tình dường đã xiêu xiêu”. Chung chạ bừa bãi, hẳn nhiều HIV.

29. Vợ rồi còn chục em “meo”. Đến khi ngã bệnh nằm queo một mình.

30. “Giàu vì bạn” hoạn nạn vì “bồ”.

31. Ra đường ăn nói nhẹ nhàng. Về nhà phũ phàng với cả người thân.

32. Ngày xưa “Đánh đĩ chín phương, vẫn để một phương lấy chồng”;

Bây giờ ối gái má hồng dẫu đã có chồng, đánh đủ mười phương

33. “Chồng nghèo vỗ về quanh năm”. Sao bằng Sếp lớn ăn nằm buổi trưa!

34. Ở đời còn khối cảnh sầu. Chồng tù, con nghiện, vợ bầu với trai.

35. Nhà chồng giàu có gì đâu. Em về bên ấy làm dâu cũng buồn.

36. “Lên non mới thấy non cao”. Cặp bồ mới hiểu tại sao hết tiền!

37. Vợ chồng tình trước nghĩa sau, khó khăn đùm bọc ốm đau cậy nhờ.

38. Vợ chồng khi trẻ là yêu, khi già thì chuyển sang điều dưỡng viên.



B. Trong quan hệ trai gái



37. Ngày xưa phái mạnh là Nam. Bây giờ “phái mạnh” chuyển sang Đàn bà.

38. Chữ trinh xưa giá “ngàn vàng”. Ngày nay ối kẻ “làm hàng” bán rao.

39. Thế giới sướng nhất Việt nam. “Nhà nghỉ” rõ lắm, nhà làm có đâu?

40. Chỉ vì một con mái, vài con trống đánh nhau. Súc vật không biết “nhịn”, nên chúng mới khổ đau.

41. Gái xưa tiết hạnh giữ mình. Nay giữ tiết hạnh dễ tình dở dang!

42. Khi yêu trai, gái thường quên. Những điều đáng lẽ không nên ...lại làm!

43. Cái nết không đánh chết cái đẹp. Còn bị nó “dẹp” sang hẳn một bên!

44. “Chưa chăn gối cũng vợ chồng”. Sinh viên giờ cũng tư thông kiểu này.

45. “Yêu anh mấy núi cũng trèo”. Đến gần em thấy nhà nghèo, nên thôi.

46. “Bây giờ ván đã đóng thuyền”. Thấy người nhiều tiền gỡ ván bán ngay.

47. “Lầu xanh quen lối xưa nay”. Rành đường chỉ có các tay quan trường.

48. “Tiếc hoa những ngậm ngùi Xuân”. Thương lão “hết đát” thích gần gái tơ.

49. Yêu anh yêu mãi suốt đời. Có nhà mặt phố, bố thời chức to.

50. “Chẳng tham ruộng cả ao liền”. Ham vì anh có chức quyền trong tay.



C. Trong quan hệ bạn bè, sếp và nhân viên



51. “Rượu ngon phải có bạn hiền”. Xin chớ lạm dụng triền miên suốt ngày.

52. Khỏe mạnh chẳng đến thăm nhau. Không ăn, không nói ốm đau thăm gì?

53. Muốn giàu “mua” bạn. Chỉ kẻ khốn nạn “bán” bạn làm giàu.

54. Phụ-Mẫu Sếp mất phúng viếng rất đông. Khi đến lượt Sếp chỉ trông họ hàng.

55. Hoạn nạn trông cậy lẫn nhau. Lên quan “lắm màu” gút- bai mất hút.

56. Hôm qua: Thưa sếp!... Dạ...em! Vừa hưu, nó đã vội quên không mời.

57. Lúc cần lên, xuống van nài...Xong việc chẳng thấy bóng ai lượn lờ.

58. Ngoài thì ủng hộ hết lời. Đến khi bỏ phiếu bút thời gạch phăng.

59. Xưa “đồng chí” quí hơn vàng. Nay gọi “đồng chí” sẵn sàng choảng nhau!

60. Không ai được chọn con cái, mẹ cha. Nhưng việc chọn bạn thì ta có quyền.

61. Kẻ thù giết nhau bằng bom bằng đạn. Không nên giết bạn bằng uống, bằng ăn!

62. Quí nhau tặng mấy tập thơ. Chẳng bằng đem tặng một tờ Mỹ kim

63. Xưa cỗ, không bằng lời chào. Ngày nay “giá cỗ” thường cao hơn lời.

64. “Có đi... lại... toại tấm lòng”. Thăm người, người chẳng có mong thăm mình?

65. “Gió đưa cành trúc la đà”. Nhân viên đưa sếp vào nhà nghỉ thôi.

66. Có vay có trả ở đời. Vay được vui thế, trả mặt (thời) lạnh tanh.



 

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