Nhân kỷ niệm 19 năm ngày mất của cố nhạc sĩ Trịnh Công Sơn: MỖI NGƯỜI CÓ MỘT TRỊNH CÔNG SƠN

Sáng 1.4.2001 tôi có việc ở VTV thì ra cổng uống bia. Vừa ngồi xuống thì bị Trương Nam Hương từ Sài Gòn gọi điện báo tin anh Trịnh Công Sơn mất. Tôi tưởng là Hương chơi ngày nói dối, nhưng không phải, đặt viết ngay bài anh Sơn mất ngày hôm nay.Tôi sững người, bất ngờ. Anh vừa ngả tuổi 63. Buồn. Tôi ngâm bia rượu đến tối, rồi về nhà viết bài về anh mấy bạn giục nóng...

***

Tôi nhiều lần được nghe Trịnh Công Sơn hát nhạc của anh. Có bài tình cờ được nghe anh hát khi chưa công bố, ví như bài “Dung Hòa ca” anh viết tặng một người con gái Hà Thành có tên là Dung Hòa sau chuyến ra Hà Nội dự sinh nhật Văn Cao 60 tuổi (1983) hay bài “Tiến thoái lưỡng nan” có lẽ là bài hát cuối cùng của đời anh. Anh thường hát trong cuộc rượu, giọng nghe như có men, nó chân thành, gần gũi như là trò chuyện, như là dan díu, giăng mắc lòng người. Giáo sư Hoàng Ngọc Hiến, người thích âm nhac và đặc biệt thích ca từ của Trịnh đã có lần nói với tôi, Trịnh Công Sơn là người hát hay nhất về nhạc Trịnh. Tất nhiên rồi, khi tác giả hát là tác giả truyền đạt tất cả những xúc cảm và thông điệp của tác phẩm đến với người nghe.

1. "Trịnh Công Sơn là người hát hay nhất về nhạc Trịnh"

Trước khi gặp Trịnh, tôi đã nghe nhạc của anh qua giọng hát Khánh Ly từ chiếc đài Orionton của lính cọc cạch khi được khi mất, và không hiểu là Trịnh hay Khánh Ly đã chinh phục tôi. Mãi đến sau 1975, tôi mới được nghe trọn vẹn album “Sơn ca 7” tại nhà của Nguyễn Đình Thi cùng Nguyễn Đình Chính và Bích Việt. Chúng tôi cứ nghe đi nghe lại giọng hát Khánh Ly cho đến khuya. Một giọng hát đầy ma mị mà có người gọi là “giọng hát liêu trai”. Khánh Ly không hát theo kỹ thuật “cộng minh cộng hưởng” như các ca sĩ miền Bắc được đào tạo qua hàn lâm viện thời đó, mà chị hát nhẹ nhàng như đang thở. Chị hát như không. Ấy vậy mà sự truyền cảm thật lạ lùng. Giọng hát mà khi đã ngừng rồi, ta vẫn thấy như còn “vương một sợi Diễm xưa”.

Những người đã mê nhạc Trịnh qua giọng liêu trai Khánh Ly thật khó mà nghe những giọng hát khác. Như một sự mê tín đáng yêu. Như một đóng đinh giá trị.

2. "Thậm chí có lúc hứng lên, anh mơ các ca khúc của mình có thể hát theo phong cách rock, rap"

Nhưng với Trịnh Công Sơn thì khác. Dù kết với Khánh Ly như một cặp đôi không thể rời, nhưng anh rất thích nghe lại mình trên nhiều cung bậc. Khi người ta bảo Hồng Nhung đã làm biến tướng nhạc Trịnh thì anh lại không nghĩ thế. Anh trân trọng và bảo vệ cách hát của Bống. Anh bảo nghe Bống hát, thấy mình trẻ lại, thấy mình đang đi cùng với thời đại. Anh khen cách phối mới cho những ca khúc của mình. Không chê chiếc guitare một thời nâng bổng những giai điệu tuyệt vời, nhưng anh luôn sung sướng khi nghe dàn nhạc điện tử hòa tấu hay đệm cho bài hát. Thậm chí có lúc hứng lên, anh mơ các ca khúc của mình có thể hát theo phong cách rock, rap. Rồi anh khen Thanh Lam, khen Mỹ Linh khi họ nhập cuộc vào nhạc Trịnh…

Có lúc Trịnh nghe Ánh Tuyết hát Văn Cao thật hay, liền gợi ý cho Ánh Tuyết “hát bài của Sơn đi”, nhưng mãi đến ngày anh ra đi vĩnh viễn, người ca sĩ này vẫn chưa dám hát nhạc của anh. Theo chị kể lại thì “Ngày anh mất, tôi đã ghi vào sổ tang mấy dòng ngậm ngùi: "Vậy là anh đã đi. Em hứa hoài mà vẫn chưa thực hiện được album. Em chắc chắn sẽ làm album nhạc của anh. Nhưng anh đi rồi đâu còn ai nghe em hát nữa...". Cho mãi 10 năm sau ngày Trinh mất, Ánh Tuyết mới tổ chức được đêm nhạc tưởng nhớ người nhạc sĩ tài hoa, cùng với việc phát hành 2 album Ánh Tuyết hát Trịnh Công Sơn 1&2 và coi đó vừa là lời tri ân, vừa là lời xin lỗi, vừa là để thực hiện lời hứa của mình với Trịnh.

Giọng hát Ánh Tuyết thuở ban đầu khiến tôi nhớ đến Thái Thanh lừng lẫy một thời. Đó là giọng sơn ca véo von bay bổng đến nức nở. Một “Suối mơ”, một “Thiên Thai” hay một “Trương Chi” huyền ảo chơi vơi như có như không. Nhưng Ánh Tuyết lại còn có cả một sức sống nội tâm đầy kịch tính mãnh liệt khi thể hiện “Trường ca sông Lô” của Văn Cao. Với nhạc Trịnh thì khác. Theo tự nhận của Trịnh thì nhạc Văn Cao như núi, còn nhạc Trịnh như đồng bằng. Có lẽ vì sự khác biệt đó mà Ánh Tuyết lưỡng lự khá lâu trước khi quyết định hát nhạc Trịnh? Đúng vậy, sau này chị đã thổ lộ: “Nhạc anh Sơn có bao nhiêu là chiếc bóng quá lớn phủ lên, bao nhiêu người chen chúc hát. Tôi thấy mình không đủ tự tin dù được anh đề nghị. Mãi đến khi hát Trịnh cho NSND Tường Vy nghe, cô đã mua tặng tôi một tuyển tập Trịnh Công Sơn Những bài ca không năm tháng và ghi: "Chúc em đã hát hay nhạc Văn Cao bây giờ còn hát hay nhạc của Trịnh Công Sơn. Hai tâm hồn lớn sẽ che chở cho em thành công hơn nữa trên đường đời đầy gian nan...". Những lời nhận xét chân tình này khiến tôi tự tin”.

3. Cái hay nhất của nhạc Trịnh là ai cũng thấy một chút mình trong đó…

Ai cũng biết nhạc Trịnh là âm nhạc của phận người. Phận người có vui và có buồn, có tuyệt vọng và hy vọng. Nhạc Trịnh chia sẻ tất cả tình yêu của mình với con người như là đôi cánh nâng đỡ cho những thân phận nhỏ nhoi trong vũ trụ. Nó thấm đẫm tinh thần triết học của nhà Phật lẫn triết học hiện sinh. Đau mà sáng. Buồn mà sang. Ánh Tuyết khi ngộ ra điều đó, chị đã lựa chọn cho mình một cách hát nhạc Trịnh riêng. Không thét gào, quằn quoại, không sướt mướt, nỉ non mà nhẹ nhàng, thanh tao như sẻ chia, trò chuyện… Ánh Tuyết đã hớp hồn công chúng ngay đêm nhạc đầu tiên của mình tưởng nhớ Trịnh. Tôi đã nghe Tuyết hát Gọi tên bốn mùa, Như cánh vạc bay, Còn tuổi nào cho em, Cuối cùng cho một tình yêu, Tình xa, Ướt mi, Rừng xưa đã khép, Phúc âm buồn, Ru ta ngậm ngùi... với một tâm thức nhẹ nhõm và quyến rũ.

Và đến khi nghe chị hát “Tiến thoái lưỡng nan” thì tôi như thấy có Sơn bên cạnh. Đây là một bài hát nhịp một trì tục như những bước chân không nhanh không chậm. “Tiến/ thoái/ lưỡng/ nan/ đi/ về/ lận/ đận/ Ngày/ xưa/ lận/ đận/ không/ biết/ về/ đâu…”. Tôi cũng đã nghe mấy “sao” hát bài này, nhưng hình như là họ hát lòng họ chứ không phải hát lòng Sơn. Họ gồng lên. Họ dằn xuống… Và họ đã lạc khỏi Sơn mà không hề hay biết. Còn Ánh Tuyết thì hòa nhập với tâm trạng bảng lảng, bâng khuâng mà kiên trì của người nhạc sĩ đã nhìn thấu phận mình. Đó cũng là ấn tượng mà ca sĩ đã gieo vào lòng người nghe thật khó phai nhạt…

Nhiều người hát nhạc Trịnh cho chính mình nghe. Họ không phải là ca sĩ, và cũng không mong thành ca sĩ. Già trẻ, gái trai… Họ hát nhạc Trịnh là bởi nhạc Trịnh đã nhập vào họ. Vậy thôi. Thỉnh thoảng tôi cũng được nghe những người như vậy hát. Và tôi nhận ra rằng, không chỉ ca sĩ chuyên nghiệp mới hát nhạc Trịnh hay. Cái hay nhất của nhạc Trịnh là ai cũng thấy một chút mình trong đó…

Nguyễn Trọng Tạo.

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