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Gần cuối thế kỷ 20, tôi và cô Hương giáo viên dạy nhạc Trường Cao đẳng Sư phạm Ninh Bình, đèo nhau bằng xe đạp đến thăm giáo sư âm nhạc Nguyễn Thị Nhung, tại đây chúng tôi may mắn gặp đại tá nhạc sĩ Huy Du đang ở nhà cùng vợ. Nhờ vậy tôi có hỏi về xuất xứ ca khúc “Nổi lửa lên em” của ông. Huy Du kể rất say sưa.

Năm ấy Huy Du cùng đoàn văn nghệ sĩ Miền Bắc đi thực tế chiến trường Trường Sơn. Vào một đêm mưa rừng, bên ngọn lửa chập chờn trong hang núi, cô cấp dưỡng nấu cho văn đoàn nghệ sĩ một nồi cháo cá suối ăn bồi dưỡng, vì có mấy người hâm hấp sốt. Thấy cô đang mang thai lùm lùm trong bụng, Huy Du hỏi chuyện và cô đã kể. Rằng cô mang thai với một anh thương binh trẻ lắm, là lính cao xạ pháo chốt trên đỉnh núi bảo vệ ngầm đá, gần nơi trạm quân y của cô đóng quân.

Hôm ấy mấy chục chiếc phản lực F105D đã thay nhau hơn mười lần nhào xuống đánh bom trận địa pháo. Bom nổ liên hồi, rung chuyển cả rừng núi. Chúng đánh cả bằng bom na pan và bom xăng, nên cây rừng bốc cháy ngùn ngụt, khói cuộn lên cao mù mịt. Đến sập chiều hoàng hôn, anh em cáng xuống một người binh nhất bị bỏng na pan rất nặng. Cả trạm quân y tập trung săn sóc cho người chiến sĩ ấy. Riêng cô là y tá có kinh nghiệm lâu năm, nên được phân công săn sóc các vết bỏng cho anh mỗi ngày. Khổ nhất là săn sóc các vết bỏng nặng ở phần mông và chỗ kín. Do vết cháy na pan ăn âm sâu vào da thịt, nên người thương binh phải cởi trần truồng, chỉ đắp trên người một miếng vải dù. Binh trạm tế nhị, nên việc bôi thuốc chỉ giao cho cô, vì cô đã ngoài ba mươi tuổi. Công việc không thể tránh được sự đụng chạm. Khi các vết bỏng đã lành được phần nào, sự đụng chạm da thịt đã đánh thức nỗi thèm khát rất đỗi con người của anh binh nhất pháo thủ cao xạ pháo. Và rồi pháo đã nổ giòn dã trong một đêm mưa rừng tầm tả. Chỉ một lần duy nhất trong đêm mưa rừng ấy, nhưng điểm hồng tâm đã báo bia điểm mười sáng chói.

Khi bụng cô thượng sĩ y tá lùm lên, trạm trưởng quân y đã họp cả trạm thông báo tội vi phạm kỷ luật chiến trường của cô y tá chị cả, và yêu cầu cô phải phá thai, để bảo vệ sự trong sạch của trạm. Khổ nhất là cả trạm trưởng và chính trị viên trạm, liên tục bằng các biện pháp mềm mỏng và cứng rắn, yêu cầu cô thượng sĩ phải khai ra tác giả là ai, bởi kẻ “xấu xa” cần bị kỷ luật đích đáng, chứ không thể tha thứ được. Ngoài ba mươi tuổi, có kinh nghiệm chục năm chiến trường, cô ý tá chẳng những khao khát được làm mẹ, mà còn biết đòn sấm sét sẽ giáng xuống đầu người binh nhất cao xạ pháo như thế nào. Bởi vậy cô chấp nhận mọi hình thức kỷ luật, chứ không hé răng một lời; ngay cả người pháo thủ cũng không hề biết mình sắp được làm cha. Trước sự cứng đầu lì lợm của cô, binh trạm quyết định hạ cấp thượng sĩ của cô xuống binh nhì, khai trừ cô khỏi Đảng, chuyển cô xuống làm anh nuôi.

Huy Du và nhiều người nữa thức nghe chuyện đã khóc ngậm ngùi. Huy Du có hỏi, sao cô không cho người chiến sĩ ấy biết chuyện. Cô gái cúi đầu nói nhỏ. “Em lo sợ anh ấy sẽ nhận con mình, sẽ bị kỷ luật chiến trường, mình em biết là được rồi, sau này con lớn lên sẽ nói; với nữa, anh ấy đã hy sinh cách đây ba tuần ngay trên mâm pháo. Mãnh bom xé rách toang lồng ngực, quả tim văng cả ra ngoài. Một cánh tay của anh ấy không biết mất đi đằng nào, không tìm được”.

Đêm ấy nhạc sĩ Huy Du thao thức trằn trọc không thể nào nhắm mắt ngủ. Mấy lần ông ngồi dậy trên võng, mở sổ tay định viết cái gì đó, nhưng nỗi đau tình người cắt cứa và giằng xé, khiến ông không thể nào viết được. Sáng hôm sau, đoàn văn nghệ sĩ cuốn võng, tiếp tục đi xa hơn về phía nam, về phía tiếng súng. Suốt dọc đường, câu chuyện của người nữ ý tá Trường Sơn đeo đẳng trong tâm trí, khiến lồng ngực người nhạc sĩ quân đội lúc nào cũng đau thắt, đầu óc mung lung, không thể nào viết được một nốt nhạc.

Hơn hai tháng sau, đoàn văn nghệ sĩ trở lại binh trạm ấy, nghỉ lại đó hai ngày, nhưng người nấu cơm lại là một cô thanh niên xung phong trẻ măng. Huy Du hỏi thăm, cô gái trẻ bưng mắt cúi đầu khóc thổn thức, nói không nên lời. “Chị… chị Thủy… chị ấy… mất rồi”. Huy Du nghe xong ù cả hai tai, hoa cả hai mắt. Khó khăn lắm ông mới gặng hỏi để biết chuyện. Chuyện về cô thượng sĩ y tá bị kỷ luật, bị khai trừ Đảng, điều xuống làm anh nuôi. Chuyện về cô thượng sĩ y tá có gần mười năm chiến trường bị giáng chức xuống binh nhì, leo núi hái rau rừng, bị mãnh bom chém vào bụng, văng cả thai nhi ra ngoài, máu ướt sũng một đám lớn trên đất rừng Trường Sơn.

Hình ảnh cô y tá anh nuôi hiện lên bên bếp lửa chập chờn. Hình ảnh cái giỏ rau còn đeo sau lưng cô gái bị héo úa đen sạm khói bom hiện lên chập chờn. Huy Du không thể nào tin được sự khắc nghiệt và tàn nhẫn của chiến tranh. Quá nửa đêm vẫn không thể nào chợp mắt, nhìn thấy mảnh trăng thượng tuần nhô lên trên đỉnh núi, ông ngồi bật dậy, lôi sổ tay kẻ vội mấy dòng nhạc, viết ngay tứ nhạc vừa vụt hiện trong đầu. “Nổi lửa lên em! Nổi lửa lên em! Ánh trăng sáng ngời đưa ta vào trận đánh, núi rừng xanh dồn dập bước quân hành”. Về tới Hà Nội, Huy Du vùi đầu viết hai ngày hai đêm thì hoàn thành ca khúc nổi tiểng, “Nổi lửa lên em”.

Kể xong, Huy Du lặng đi một lúc, rồi bước qua gần góc nhà, từ từ ngồi xuống bên cây piano, vung hai bàn tay gân guốc, gầy guộc, gõ mạnh xuống bàn phím. Từng chùm hợp âm vang lên, bùng cháy và thúc giục. Hương bước tới, vịn một góc thành đàn cất tiếng hát. Giáo sư tiến sĩ âm nhạc Nguyễn Thị Nhung, giám đốc Nhạc viện Hà Nội cũng đến đứng sau lưng chồng. Hợp âm bùng lên chập chùng chập chùng. Giai điệu vang lên day dứt mà rạo rực, thiết tha mà bỏng cháy. Tiếng hát của hai cô trò một khàn một trong vút lên. Căn phòng nhỏ phút chốc biến thành cả một thế gới âm thanh sáng rực. “Nổi lửa lên em! Nổi lửa len em!”.

HTT
Vĩnh Long, 23 tháng 7 năm 2020

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